O, Christmas Tree
by inner thoughts
Summary: Lee and Amanda start off the holiday season with a fight.  Before they can make peace, tragedy strikes.  Help from a very unexpected source is received, but will it be too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** _Scarecrow and Mrs. King_ and its characters are property of Warner Bros. and Shoot the Moon Productions. No copyright infringement is intended

**Time:** Post Season 4- a few weeks after "When You Least Expect It"

Lee and Amanda sat across from each other in Lee's office, their eyes locked on to one another, their gazes laced with stubbornness and a dash of anger. Amanda was the first to speak. She tried to remain calm but in this case, Lee was being absolutely ridiculous and Amanda was not going to cave.

"Lee, I can't believe we are fighting about this! It's almost the middle of December! What did you THINK was going to happen?"

"Why am I the one that is wrong in this case? Can't you even TRY to see it from my side?"

Lee knew he was being somewhat irrational but he wasn't about to let Amanda see that. Why was it so difficult for anyone to see it from his perspective?

"Do you really think that I am not considering your feelings at all in this situation? Of course I am thinking about your feelings. But I also know that you are the master of avoiding things that bring up difficult emotions and you are NOT going to avoid it this year! I understand that this is a hard time of year for you but it is time that you started building some happy memories associated with Christmas You are part of a family now, Lee. We all love you very much and will be there for your personal struggles with the holidays. But like it or not, we are going to the Christmas Tree lot, TONIGHT, and we are picking out a tree. You have already promised the boys and they are so looking forward to it, so don't even think of trying to weasel your way out of it!"

"Amanda, it's just a tree. Why can't you and the boys go get it without me?"

"Because, Lee! As I JUST finished saying…..YOU promised the boys that you would go and they really, really want to go with you. We are ALL going. Period!"

"Amanda! You just don't understand!"

"You're right! I don't! Because you will never talk to me about it. You change the subject or get mad at me. And if you continue to be mad at me, that's fine but I am not letting you hurt Jamie and Philip in the process. I have to go upstairs, meet with Francine and then go drop off some files across town before I pick up the boys so I will meet you at home…5 o'clock. Sharp. Weatherman said it was supposed to flurry tonight so don't be late."

Amanda grabbed her files and left the office, angrily. Lee hated when they fought and went their separate ways while they were still angry. He didn't want to ruin anything for Philip or Jamie or especially, Amanda. Lee sat heavily into his chair. He wanted to tell Amanda why he didn't want to go pick out a tree, he wanted to tell her why he really didn't like Christmas. The truth was, he didn't really know. He leaned his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes….

"_Lee, dear! Come put on your jacket! You and mummy and daddy are going to go pick out a Christmas tree for our living room! Won't that be fun?" Jennifer Stetson said warmly to her 4-year old son._

"_Oh, Mummy! Our very own Christmas tree? In our house? Just for me?" Little Lee said, jumping up and down, gushing with joy, eyes wide with excitement._

_Jennifer chuckled lovingly at her precious son._

"_Yes, darling! A tree just for you and when we get home, we are going to decorate it with pretty lights and tinsel and lots of ornaments!"_

"_Oh, yippie! Can we go now? Can we go right now?"_

"_As soon as you put on your jacket, young man!"_

"_Where's my champ?" Matthew Stetson called from the front hallway._

"_I'm right here, Daddy! I'm right here!" Lee ran to his father and was swept up into his big, strong arms. "We are gonna go get a Christmas tree! And Mummy said we are going to bring it in the house and put or-ma-nents on it!"_

_Jennifer smiled as she watched her husband and their son interact. "It was going to be a happy Christmas for all this year", she said to herself as they walked out to the car._

The ringing phone forced Lee out of his daydream. He opened his eyes to the familiar surroundings of his office. Lee exhaled a heavy sigh and picked up the phone.

"Stetson here."

**SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK**

Amanda was desperately trying to not be mad at Lee. She understood that he has some childhood trauma that gets in the way of things from time to time. She doesn't ever hold that against him. But in this case, she really was thinking he just needed to get over it and make some new memories-as a husband but perhaps more importantly, as a dad. Amanda has always said that you have never experiences Christmas until you have experienced it through a child's eyes. She knew that if she could just get Lee to participate in getting a tree and decorating it with the family that he would start to view things differently. She was really kicking herself that she let herself get so mad at him. She never intended to start a fight or to raise her voice. He can just be so stubborn sometimes!

Amanda reached the Q-Bureau door and took a deep cleansing breath before she went in.

"Good morning, Francine! How are things?"

"I am great but you look a little flustered. Everything ok?"

Amanda sat down in the chair opposite of Francine's desk.

"Oh….yeah. I am fine, or I will be. Lee and I just had a slightly heated discussion a few minutes ago."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No. I'll be fine. I will go back down to talk to him in a few minutes after we both cool off."

"You sure?"

"Yup! Positively." Amanda paused for a moment and collected her thoughts. "So, tell me Francine, how are things going with you and Sam? It's been 2-weeks now?"

Francine immediately smiled from ear to ear at the thought of Sam.

"I am almost afraid to talk about it, Amanda. I am afraid I will jinx it!"

"Aw, come on, Francine! You won't jinx it! Tell me!"

"Well, things are…..GREAT!" Francine said clapping her hands together and laughing despite herself. "He is such an amazing man! He's so smart and considerate. He makes me laugh and is a romantic, not to mention how gorgeous he is!"

"I told you! He's a catch! And it's about time you found a nice man that treats you well! He does treat you well, doesn't he?"

"Oh very, very well! I am not used to it! The last few men I have dated have all been kind of jerks."

"That's wonderful, Francine! We will have to have you two over for dinner soon!"

"That would be great!"

Amanda sat again in silence, her mind thinking wandering to Lee.

"Uh, Amanda? I am guessing you came up here to pick up these files that you are bringing with you today?"

"What? Oh yeah, thanks Francine. I guess I had better get going. Talk to you later. Tell Sam I said hi."

Amanda walked out of the Q-Bureau and down the stairs to the Georgetown lobby. As her hand touched the door knob to leave, she changed her mind and walked over to the elevator. Moving the coats out of the way, she made her way onto the elevator and pushed the button that would bring her to the bullpen and to Lee.

Amanda stepped off the elevator and briskly walked through the bullpen. She knocked on Lee's door but there was no answer.

"Lee?" she asked as she slowly opened the door.

Disappointment wracked Amanda as she realized that Lee was not in his office. She checked the time and saw that she didn't have time to wait for him if she wanted to get all her files delivered and pick up the boys on time. She walked over to the desk and ripped off a blank piece of paper from the yellow legal pad sitting on the corner of the messy desk. She proceeded to write Lee a note:

"Sweetheart, I am so sorry we fought earlier. I had no intention of fighting with you when I came in to talk to you. I understand that this is hard for you and I am not trying to ignore your feelings. You are the most important thing in the world to me and I hate when we walk away angry. I love you. I will see you tonight at home. Love-Amanda"

Amanda folded the note and taped it to his phone receiver. Checking her watch one last time, she realized that she had better get going or the rest of her day was going to be behind schedule. She quickly made her way to the elevator and once again, made her way to the Georgetown lobby. The weather was much colder than she expected it to be. A cold front had definitely made its way into the DC area. A change of clothes and a much warmer coat would be needed for this evening's tree hunt. She quickly trotted to her car that was parked right in front of the building. Placing the files on the seat beside her, she started the car and immediately turned on the heat. As she drove away, she wished that she had gotten to talk to Lee before she left for the day.

Amanda had scarcely been gone from his office for 3 minutes when Lee returned. Part of him hoped to see Amanda waiting for him when he returned. Disappointed, he flopped down on the couch and began to read through the thick file he had just been handed.

"Why do all the Russians want to defect in December?" he said out loud to himself.

Just as quickly as he picked it up, he put the file back down on the coffee table. He leaned back on the couch and looked at his wedding band. Carefully spinning it around his finger, he began to wish that he wasn't so defensive this morning with Amanda. He knew she was right and that if he backed out of going to get a tree, he would hurt Philip and Jamie and that was not at all his intent. He looked at the time and wondered if Amanda might still be up talking to Francine. Lee got up from the couch and quickly walked to his desk to call the Q-Bureau. As he reached for the receiver, he noticed the yellow note taped to the receiver. Immediately, he knew the hand writing to be Amanda's. He opened the note and read it. A melancholy smile appeared on his lips. "I love you, too" he said to the empty room. He would make it up to her tonight. Lee vowed to try and make this Christmas different from all the others. He vowed to try and make it special for his family.

**SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK**

Amanda quickly made her last stop before having to drive all the way back to Arlington to pick-up the boys. She was kicking herself for getting sucked into the conversation with the file clerk at the records building. Amanda didn't care in the least about their change-over to lower acid based file folders, yet she let the clerk talk her ear off about them for almost 20-minutes. As she rushed down the back roads, the temperature continued to drop. The wind also began to pick up and blew invisible gusts across the road. She hated the thought of Philip and Jamie waiting outside the school in this cold. Amanda decided that a few more miles over the speed limit wouldn't hurt. She gently pressed the accelerator and began to drive a little faster. She cruised along comfortably feeling that she would be able to make-up some of the time that she lost. As she crossed into the Arlington town limits, she felt a little more at ease and slowed back down to the speed limit. Rounding the sharp curve in the road, Amanda came face to face with two deer standing in the middle of the road. She quickly swerved to avoid the deer and ran off the road down an embankment. The car finally came to rest in a small grove of pine trees, just out of sight from the main road. Amanda sat slumped over the steering wheel unconscious and no other cars in sight.

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Lee could barely keep his mind on work. His thoughts kept drifting back to Amanda and how angry she looked when she left his office earlier this afternoon. He picked up her note and reread it for the 1,000th time. Lee wished that he was the first one to say sorry. Why did Christmas have to be so difficult? For the past decade, at least, Lee had done what he thought was a good job at hiding the fact that he hated Christmas. He always got the people that were important in his life a gift for the holidays. So what if it was the same thing every year? Everyone can use a scarf! This year, he wanted things to be different. He wanted a real Christmas with presents under the tree and waking up on Christmas morning to a house full of hustle and bustle and exchanging gifts. He just didn't know where the road block in his mind was. He had every intention this morning of finishing the work day and heading home to go with the family to pick out a tree, but when Amanda mentioned it to him this afternoon, he froze. A deep, paralyzing fear struck him and all he wanted to do was run. It seemed so stupid now looking back at their argument. It was Amanda and Philip and Jamie-why was he afraid of them? Lee's mind began to wander and he tried to sort out his fears.

"_Oh, daddy! Look at all the Christmas trees! Are they all for us?"_

_Matthew laughed and smiled at Lee._

"_No, son. They aren't all for us. We are going to pick out one very special tree for our house. The other boys and girls with their mommies and daddies are going to also come here and chose a tree for their house."_

"_So Santa can come and leave them presents?"_

"_Yes, so Santa can come and leave them presents on Christmas Eve!"_

"_Mummy, did Santa come to your house when you were a little girl in England?"_

"_Oh, yes, darling! Santa would come every Christmas Eve and leave presents under the tree and candy in our stockings."_

"_Candy?" Lee's eyes widened at the thought of presents AND candy._

"_What do you say we look for the perfect tree, Champ?"_

"_OK, Daddy! Let's look over there!" _

_Lee took off running to the first clump of trees. Jennifer and Matthew watched with delight as Lee was beside himself with joy. At that moment, Christmas had never been more meaningful._

"_Shall we go catch up with our son, Mrs. Stetson?"_

"_Indeed, my darling. From the looks of it, he has already spotted the biggest tree on the lot!"_

_They walked hand in hand towards a very excited Lee._

Lee sat up, rubbed his eyes and nervously ran his hands through his hair. He tried not to think about his parents. It was too painful.

He picked up the file on the defecting Russians and safely locked it in the bottom drawer of his desk. There were no pressing matters to deal with on that case. He would divide up the defectors tomorrow and assign agents to do background checks on them all. Satisfied with that decision, Lee figured that it was time to head home and face the music. Lee grabbed his jacket and looked at his watch.

"Damn it!" he said aloud. "How did it get so late? Amanda is going to kill me! She said we were leaving at 5 sharp."

Lee ran out of the bullpen and got on the elevator. There was no way he was going to make it home by 5.

**SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK**

Amanda struggled to open her eyes. She was very disoriented and didn't know where she was or how she got there. It was dark and cold. She knew she was in her car but all other details were fuzzy. She lifted her head from the steering wheel and managed to sit back in her seat. Her head hurt and she was sore all over. Slowly, she lifted her hand to her head. It was wet and sticky…blood she determined. How much she was bleeding she was uncertain. She turned on the car's interior lights to try and get a better look at herself in the rearview mirror. It hurt to move. She unbuckled her seatbelt and strained to get a better look at her injury. She had a big egg above her right eyebrow that had bled down her cheek and onto her neck. It slowly began to set in that she had been in a car accident. She had no memory of what happened. Last she remembered, it had been light out and now the sun had set. She was very cold and sore. Amanda leaned back and shut her eyes trying to make sense of what had happened. Suddenly, a panic struck her.

"The baby!" She screamed in her head.

She sat up quickly and grabbed her stomach. Amanda tried to assess her body and her injuries but the jolt of sitting up was too much. Her head throbbed even more as her vision began to go black.

"Lee…."she muttered as she passed out.

**SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK**

Lee drove home as quickly as he could. Despite his best efforts and many traffic laws being broken, the best he could do was arrive home at 5:10pm. His heart sank as he pulled in the driveway and saw that Amanda's car wasn't there.

"Damn it! They left without me!"

Lee got out of the car and slammed the door. The first flakes of snow began to fall.

"Looks like old Dan was right for once" he said cursing the weather.

Lee pulled opened the kitchen door and was shocked to see Philip and Jamie staring him down.

"Guys, what are you doing here? I thought you and your mother left to go get a tree."

"Nope. We haven't seen mom since this morning. She was supposed to pick us up at school and never showed. We had to call grandma." Philip stated with a healthy dose of annoyance in his voice.

"Yeah and it was freezing out!" Jamie added.

"What do you mean you haven't seen your mother since this morning? She left hours ago to go pick you up. No note or anything here?"

"Nope, nothing. Not a word." Philip answered.

Lee's face dropped as a million different scenarios ran through his mind as to what could have happened to Amanda. He rushed past the boys practically pushing them out of his way so he could get to the phone. He picked up the receiver and quickly dialed.

"Francine? It's me….what time did Amanda leave IFF today?"

"About 2:30. Why?"

"She was supposed to pick up the boys at 4 and never made it and she's not home. No one has heard from her."

"What? OK Lee don't panic. Let me call the places she was supposed to drop off the files and see if she made it there. You call and see if she left any messages for you. I am sure there is a simple explanation."

"Ok, call me right back when you have some answers."

Lee hung up the phone and ran his hands through his hair. His jaw was clenched and his temple muscles were dancing.

"Is your grandmother still here?"

"Yeah, she's up stairs. Want me to go get her?" Jamie asked.

"Yes, please."

Jamie ran upstairs to get Dotty. Lee picked up the phone and dialed to see if Amanda had left any messages. Upon hearing that she had not called, Lee slammed down the phone.

"Damn it!"

"Lee, what's wrong?" Dotty asked in a concerned tone.

"Amanda was supposed to pick up the boys at school but never made it. I have no idea where she is. She was supposed to run some errands for work this afternoon and then pick up Philip and Jamie. No one knows where she is."

The phone began to ring. Lee grabbed it before it could ring twice.

"Amanda?"

"No, Lee. It's Francine. I checked the two places she was supposed to go and she made it to both of them. The last place said she left there about 3:30ish."

"Alright, give me the address and I will back track from there. I want you to put some people on this, too, Francine. Your best men."

"Lee, do you think that…."

"Yes, I do think that it is warranted and necessary so don't lecture me about protocol."

"I wasn't. I was going to see if you wanted Sam and me to help you look."

"Yes, that would be great. And before you go, see if there are any leads on anyone that has surfaced recently that might be looking for revenge."

"Ok, got it."

Dotty had ushered Philip out of the kitchen when the phone conversation began to get a little to agency oriented. He complied but was very curious as to why Lee was giving those orders to Francine. Lee began to pace back and forth in the kitchen.

"Lee, I am sure she's alright. This is not the first time she has not come home when expected, you know?"

"I know Dotty but she told me to make sure I was home by 5 because we were going out to get a tree. We even had a fight about it this afternoon. There is no way she wouldn't have not come home and not called unless there was something wrong."

"OK well let's try to remain calm."

Lee's eyes suddenly became full of fire and his temper flared.

"Calm? I don't want to remain calm! My wife is out there….my PREGNANT wife is out there somewhere and no one has a CLUE where to find her. She could be broken down, lost….hurt…..or worse. Not to mention that it is dark and freezing out there. Damn it!"

"What can I do?"

"Call Harry and explain the situation to him. Have him pull every favor he can to get some people out looking for Amanda. Give him this address and tell him she was last seen about 3:30. I am headed out there now to see what I can find out. Call me on my car phone when you hear something."

"OK, Lee. I will call Harry right now. It will be ok. We'll find her. She'll be ok."

Lee stormed out of the house and jumped into the Corvette. Peeling out of the driveway, he sped down the street to Amanda's last known where abouts. The snow was falling ever so lightly, melting as it hit the road. The car's headlights cut into the darkness as Lee scanned the road ahead.

"Where are you, Amanda? Damn it, where are you?"

The car phone rang startling Lee.

"Stetson."

"Lee, there is nothing new that has turned up on any of the bad guys. No new threats and no prison releases with anyone that you or Amanda have had interactions with within the last 7-years. It doesn't look like this is agency related, at least not from what I can see."

"I am not sure if that is good news or not, Francine. If someone took her, chances are that we would hear from them and I would be able to go get her. If there was no kidnapping, then where the hell is she?"

"I don't know but I already called Sam. He is picking me up and we are heading out to look. She is in her car, right?"

"Yeah, the Wagoneer. Call me the MINUTE you find something."

"I will."

Lee hung up the phone with Francine more frustrated than before: so much so that he failed to notice the soft glow that the headlights were emitting from the embankment as he sped past where Amanda's car lay.

**SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK**

"Amanda? Amanda, darling? You need to wake up. Open your eyes."

Amanda could hear an unfamiliar woman's voice speaking to her as she sat in the freezing cold car. She understood what the voice was asking her to do but she found its request so overwhelmingly difficult.

"Lee?" she questioned.

"No, dear. It's not Lee. Open your eyes! You need to try and stay awake. You gave yourself a big bump on the noggin."

Amanda struggled to open her eyes. Her head was still pounding and her vision was still very blurry. She ran her hands over her abdomen and felt the small protruding baby bump. There was no pain in the stomach and there didn't seem to be any bleeding. She hoped and prayed that the baby would be ok.

"Your baby is ok for now, Amanda. But we need to keep you awake and get you some help."

"Where is Lee?" She managed to say with much difficulty.

"If I know him, he's on his way right now. He loves you so, you know. I am so thankful that the two of you found each other."

"You know my Lee?"

"Oh yes….I know him. Not nearly in the way that I had always dreamed of knowing him, but never the less, I know him."

Amanda closed her eyes again and began to give into the urge to sleep, her body shivering from the cold.

"Amanda! Wake up! You need to stay awake!"

"I can't…..I am so…..tired…so cold"

"Don't give up, Amanda! Lee is out looking for you now. You need to be awake so you can help him find you."

"You help me?"

"I am helping the only way that I can, dear."

"Deer? Two deer….in road."

"Yes, that's right. What else do you remember?"

Amanda didn't answer.

"Amanda? Tell me what else you remember from today."

"Fight with Lee about…..Christmas Tree…"

"Christmas Trees still have a way of churning up the excitement in Lee."

"Lee hates Christmas."

"Oh well, he didn't always. In fact I remember quite well when he was four and helped pick out the Christmas Tree. He was so excited to get the tree of his choosing. And then when he decorated it…well his favorite ornament was a sheriff's badge his father bought for him. He placed it so carefully on the tree. He looked at it every day until we had to take the tree down after Christmas. Lee loved to play cowboy and said someday he was going to be a sheriff."

Amanda smiled…

"He is a sheriff…"

Her eyes began to feel heavy and shut again.

"Please wake up dear. Lee will be here soon but you need to be awake so he can find you."

**SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK**

Lee found no new leads after visiting the file clerk that Amanda had met with earlier this afternoon. He surmised that the next place she would have headed was to pick up Philip and Jamie. He sped along the road headed back to Arlington. The fight of this morning began to replay in his mind.

"_You all set for our great Christmas Tree hunt tonight?"_

"_Uh, Amanda….why don't you and the boys just go?"_

"_Why? You told the boys that you were excited to go pick out a tree with them, Lee. What's the problem?"_

"_I just think it would be more fun if the three of you went."_

"_More fun or easier on you?"_

"_Both actually."_

"_No, we are all going to go as a family to pick out our tree. You're not backing out, Lee. You'll break Philip and Jamie's heart. Besides, it is a lot of fun to see Christmas through their eyes. Plus I think it will be good for you, too."_

"_It just seems to have come up all of a sudden…..Christmas, getting a tree. Do we have to go tonight? Can't it wait?"_

"_Lee, I can't believe we are fighting about this! It's almost the middle of December! What did you THINK was going to happen?" _

"_Why am I the one that is wrong in this case? Can't you even TRY to see it from my side?"_

"_Do you really think that I am not considering your feelings at all in this situation? Of course I am thinking about your feelings. But I also know that you are the master of avoiding things that bring up difficult emotions and you are NOT going to avoid it this year! I understand that this is a hard time of year for you but it is time that you started building some happy memories associated with Christmas You are part of a family now, Lee. We all love you very much and will be there for your personal struggles with the holidays. But like it or not, we are going to the Christmas Tree lot, TONIGHT, and we are picking out a tree. You have already promised the boys and they are so looking forward to it, so don't even think of trying to weasel your way out of it!"_

"_Amanda, it's just a tree. Why can't you and the boys go get it without me?"_

"_Because, Lee! As I JUST finished saying…..YOU promised the boys that you would go and they really, really want to go with you. We are ALL going. Period!"_

"_Amanda! You just don't understand!"_

"_You're right! I don't! Because you will never talk to me about it. You change the subject or get mad at me. And if you continue to be mad at me, that's fine but I am not letting you hurt Jamie and Philip in the process. I have to go upstairs, meet with Francine and then go drop off some files across town before I pick up the boys so I will meet you at home…5 o'clock. Sharp. Weatherman said it was supposed to flurry tonight so don't be late."_

Lee crossed over into Arlington with no sign of Amanda anywhere. As Lee maneuvered around the treacherous curve, Lee found himself staring into the eyes of a huge doe standing in the middle of the road. He swerved and was able to pull the car safely to the side of the road. The deer looked at him and bounded down the embankment towards Amanda's car. Lee got out of the car and screamed into the night out of fear and frustration. He picked up the closest rock he could find and threw it in the direction of the deer. The rock sailed down the embankment out of site, hitting something metal before it came to rest.

"Amanda, darling…there he is. There's Lee. You must give him a signal before he moves on. Honk the horn, Amanda. Honk the horn."

Amanda looked at the steering wheel with blurry vision and used all her might to honk the car's horn. Two small chirps came from beneath the car's hood. It was the best she could do.

"That should do it, Amanda. I have to be going now. Take care of my Lee and my grandchild."

"Who are you?" Amanda said still in a haze.

"You can call me Jenny."

Lee heard the chirps coming from the direction where the rock had hit. He ran across the road and looked down the hill. He could see the soft glow from the headlights that were being lit by a dying battery.

"Amanda! Hang on, Amanda! I'm coming!"

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Lee's feet barely hit the ground as he ran down the embankment to Amanda's car. The car was scratched and dented, the front windshield cracked. It was obvious that she had hit some of the trees on the way down the hill. Lee ran to the driver's side door but it was blocked by a tree. He quickly scaled the hood of the car and ripped open the passenger side door.

"Amanda? Amanda can you hear me? Amanda?"

Lee checked for a pulse and listened to her chest to make sure she was breathing. He was shocked at the amount of blood that was on her face and chest.

"Amanda? Come on, honey….talk to me!"

Lee grabbed her hand which was now ice cold.

"If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

Through the fog of her own mind, she could hear Lee calling her and felt him holding her hand. She squeezed his hand as hard as she could.

"Good job, Amanda! I am going to go call for help. I will be right back. You're going to be ok."

Lee took off his jacket and covered Amanda with it before sprinting up the hill to his car.

"He's so handsome, isn't he Amanda? He looks so much like his father." Jenny proudly said.

"Yes…beautiful…eyes" Amanda barely managed to squeak out.

"MMM, yes. He has his father's eyes. I think that is what makes me think that he resembles Matt so. It is sad that we missed out on so much with Lee. He was our pride and joy. We never planned on having children right away given our jobs and all, but Lee just kind of happened. We were so thrilled! He was such a loving and thoughtful child. It made me so sad to see him alone in this world….his heart hardened. That was of course until he met you. You were exactly what he needed, Amanda. And I have a feeling that the same can be said about him for you. Am I right?"

Amanda gently nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Francine? Francine I found her. She's hurt. I need you to call the NEST team and have them meet us at the hospital."

"What happened? Where is she?"

"Car accident. Not sure what happened. Looks like she hit her head pretty hard. She's out of it and freezing cold."

"Ok, Lee. I will get right on it."

"Francine?...can you also call Amanda's doctor? Dr. Kesselman?...I, uh…I don't know if the accident has affected the baby." Lee's voice began to break.

"Of course, Lee. I will meet you at the hospital."

Lee opened his trunk and took out some emergency road flares and set them up so the police and the ambulance could find where they were. He had called the police before he called Francine and told them to look for the flares.

Lee climbed back down to Amanda. He slid into the seat next to her and once again grabbed her hand. He gently rubbed her hand between his in an effort to provide her some warmth.

"Lee?" she said weakly.

"Amanda? Yes it's Lee. Amanda, help is on the way. We're going to get you out of here and to a hospital. You're going to be ok. I promise."

Amanda attempted to open her eyes and look at Lee. Her head was pounding and even the slightest movements made it worse.

"I'm….sorry.." she said to him.

Lee looked at her with disbelief. He grasped her hand tighter and held it to his chest.

"Amanda, you have nothing to be sorry about. I was the idiot. I am the one that is sorry. I love you and I am so thankful that I found you."

"Lee…mother"

"I will make sure we call your mother when we get to the hospital"

"No….your…."

The sound of the sirens could he heard in the distance.

"Amanda, I will be right back. I want to show them where you are."

Lee ran up the hill and greeted the ambulance and a fire truck that had obviously been called.

"She's down there. She is pretty banged up and she hit her head, on the steering wheel I think. She is semi-conscious. She knows who I am and is talking a bit. She's really cold. Oh and she's almost 4-months pregnant."

"OK, don't worry. We'll take good care of her."

The rescue team proceeded down the hill with the gurney. Lee stood helplessly by as he watched the EMT's place a neck brace and back board on to Amanda. They then gently removed her from the car and put her onto the gurney. Lee ran over to her side and began talking to her.

"Amanda? We are going to the hospital now. You're going to be ok. I am right here with you."

Amanda was carefully loaded onto the ambulance and gently covered with multiple blankets. Lee sat beside her and once again held her hand. She was shivering and trying desperately to keep her eyes open.

"How bad does it look?"

"Well she is actually really lucky. If the car had rolled on the way down the hill, it would have been a whole different story. I don't think anything is broken. This cut on her forehead looks a lot worse than it is, but it will need a few stitches. The main thing that they are going to be looking at is her head injury. It's hard to tell how bad it is right now."

"What about the baby?"

"You'll have to wait and see what the doctors say. No way of knowing right now. Try and think positively."

Lee silently nodded his head and looked at Amanda. Some of the dried blood had been washed off her face leaving her looking better than when he first discovered her in the car. She looked so small and helpless. Lee began having flashbacks to their honeymoon in California. The ambulance ride was terrifying. They had almost lost her on the way to the hospital. His heart began racing at the thought of that possibly happening again.

Dr. Gastner of the NEST team met the ambulance at the emergency room door.

"What have we got?" the Dr. asked.

"36 year old female in good physical health. Car accident. Laceration on the forehead and probable concussion. Patient is also almost 4 months pregnant."

"How long has she been unconscious?"

"Not sure. We suspect that she was in the accident around 4 o'clock. She was just found about an hour ago."

"OK, we'll take it from here."

Lee tried to walk into the exam room with Amanda.

"Lee…..you need to wait out here. We will take good care of her. I promise. I will come out to talk to you as soon as I have any news. Try and relax."

Lee sharply turned away from the swinging doors of the exam room and leaned against the wall. Too many bad thoughts and memories from California were flooding his mind. He couldn't lose her or the baby.

"Lee?"

Lee turned around at the sound of his name to see Francine and Sam headed for him. She reached out her hand and grabbed his arm.

"Lee? How is she?"

"Uh…don't know yet. The doctor is in with her now. She definitely hit her head, so some sort of concussion. They told me they would come out and let me know as soon as they had any news."

"Ok so let's sit down and try to get our mind off this if possible."

"I need to go call Dotty."

"Sam already called her. She is on her way."

Lee looked up at Sam for the first time in the conversation.

"Thanks, Sam. I appreciate it. Francine, did you get in touch with Dr. Kesselman?"

"I talked to her service. She was in a delivery and they said that she will be here as soon as she can."

Lee quietly nodded his head.

"This is my fault, Francine."

"Lee, this is not your fault!"

"Yes it is. We had a stupid argument this morning. She got so mad at me. All because of a stupid Christmas tree. She was probably so mad at me that she wasn't paying attention to the road."

"Lee…..I saw her after your fight. She was perturbed but not out of control. She was fine. This is absolutely not your fault."

Lee sat in the waiting room chair and put his head in his hands. The waiting was torturing him.

"Lee?" the doctor called to him.

Lee jumped up and met the doctor.

"How is she?"

"Well, she has a bad concussion. We will know how bad once we get a CT scan. Her pupils are reactive, however so that is a good sign. Her head needed a couple of stitches. Nothing else seems to be broken, but I imagine she is going to be rather sore when she wakes up."

"Did she talk to you?"

"Not really. Not yet. It is not uncommon for an injury such as hers. Don't forget, she was not only dealing with the head injury but the cold as well. Her body is very confused right now as to what it should be paying attention to. We have her in blankets and heating pads."

Lee looked at the doctor, afraid to ask the next question.

"And what about the baby?"

"Well from what we could tell, there doesn't seem to be any damage to the pregnancy. But we really need to wait for Dr. Kesselman to examine her before we know that for sure. She is not completely out of the woods yet."

"Can I see her?"

"Yes. You can go sit with her while we wait for the CT machine to be ready. Try not to press her to answer you or to talk. It is best for now if she just rests, ok?"

"Uh, yeah…...of course. I just want to be near her."

"She is in exam room 3"

Lee pushed open the emergency room doors and found exam room 3. Amanda lay there very still looking very pale. He walked over to her and placed a very gentle kiss on her lips. The bump on her head was covered with a bandage and the blood had been cleaned up off her face and neck. She looked very serene as she lay there sleeping. Lee took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. It was much warmer to the touch than it had been the last time her grasped it. Slowly, he sat on the stool that was beside her bed. He lay his head down upon her bed, still holding her hand in his. Tears began to flow from his eyes without warning.

"Oh Amanda…I am so sorry we had that stupid fight today. This is all my fault. I don't know what my problem is. I never meant to upset you. And now, you are hurt and our baby….."

Lee didn't finish the sentence. Instead he buried his head into his hands still possessing Amanda's fingers.

Jenny looked on as Lee cried by his wife's bedside. She ached for her son. She wished she could reach out and comfort him. She had wished this so many times during Lee's life time. If he only knew that she and his father were always watching him and were so proud of the man he has become.

"Hush now, Lee. This is not your fault. You will come to know that soon. Amanda loves you and doesn't blame you." Jenny said knowing that Lee couldn't hear her or feel the comfort that she offered as his mother. "Amanda, I want to thank you again for loving my son. He is such a special man and he needs someone to love him. He has grown so much with you and through your love. Maybe one day you can even get him to love Christmas again. His uncle meant well, but I fear that he ruined Christmas for my Lee."

Amanda began to squeeze Lee's hand. This time it had much more force behind it than it had in the car. Lee snapped his head up and looked at Amanda. She was still unconscious. He gently brushed the hair away from her face. A soft knock was heard from the door. Dr. Kesselman opened the door and came into Amanda's room. She extended her hand to Lee.

"Hello, I am Dr. Kesselman, Amanda's OB/GYN. You must be Lee."

Lee quickly brushed the tears from his cheeks and shook her hand.

"Yes, I am Amanda's husband. Nice to meet you."

"Dr. Gastner has filled me in on Amanda's condition. I am going to take a look at the baby and see how things are there, ok?"

Lee nodded his head. "OK"

"I am going to have to ask you to step outside while I examine her, ok? I will call you back in as soon as I am done."

A nurse entered the room rolling a piece of equipment over to Amanda's bed. Lee slowly exited the room with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jenny followed him out to the waiting area and placed a loving hand on his shoulder. Lee felt a wave of comfort wash over him that he couldn't explain. He found a seat in the waiting area out of site from the others but still in view of the door. He began to choke back the tears yet again. He tried not to let his mind go to the worst possible scenarios. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Amanda or the baby. He quickly stood from his chair and began pacing back and forth as he ran his hands through his hair. Time crept ever so slowly; each minute seemed like an hour. Lee checked his watch to see how much time had passed-only 15 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. The door to Amanda's room slowly opened and out walked the nurse. She did not even acknowledge Lee. He thought he was going to jump out of his own skin. The nurse then returned with some sort of bottle and entered Amanda's room. Lee continued to pace for another ten minutes. Finally, Dr. Kesselman came out to talk to Lee.

"Lee, could you please come in here?"

Lee froze where he stood. His gut feeling said that this was not going to be good. He swallowed hard and walked thought the door into Amanda's room.

To be continued…..


	4. Chapter 4

The walk to Amanda's room felt like the longest walk he had ever taken in his life. As he passed the threshold of the door he could see the nurse writing something in the chart. Dr. Kesselman made her way over to the stool beside Amanda's bed. She asked Lee to take a seat on the stool located on the opposite side of Amanda's bed. Lee cautiously sat down next to Amanda. He took a moment to look at Amanda lying unconscious. He grasped her hand as he braced himself for what he was sure to be bad news about the baby. He didn't realize that he was holding his breath until he let out a long, heavy exhale.

Dr. Kesselman gently smiled at Lee.

"Take a breath, Lee. I have some good news for you. I did a thorough exam of Amanda and the baby and from what I can tell, everything looks good."

Lee quickly inhaled and choked back tears of relief. He didn't realize until that moment how much he loved his unborn child and how devastated he would be if they lost it. A cautious smile took over his face as he squeezed Amanda's hand.

"Our biggest concern at this stage of the pregnancy is the placenta detaching. From what I can see, that hasn't happened. There is no bleeding and the heartbeat is strong. I want to keep her under observation for a couple of days, but she will be here anyway so that won't be a problem."

Lee wiped the tears from his eyes as he felt his body slightly shaking as some of the tension began to leave his body. Dr. Kesselman turned on the machine beside Amanda's bed and began to move a probe over her stomach. She looked intently at the screen at the gray images appearing. Back and forth she moved the probe until she finally stopped and turned the screen more towards Lee.

"I thought you might want to see the baby for yourself."

Lee was a little taken aback. "See the baby?" he said to himself.

"Right there…..see that little kidney shaped mass with the little fluttering spot? That is your baby….and the fluttering is the heartbeat. Nice and strong."

Lee stared at the screen in awe of what he was seeing. There in front of him was his unborn son or daughter growing inside of his wife. The reality of the pregnancy and impending birth of the baby suddenly hit him and he began to boil over with emotion. A soft sob escaped his lips before he knew what was happening. Lee lowered his head into his hands and began to weep. Out came all the stress and fear of losing Amanda and the baby as the love he felt for them both began to grow exponentially. The doctor slowly got up from the stool and walked around the bed to Lee. She touched him softly on the shoulder and told him she would leave him alone with Amanda for a little while and would be back in case he had any questions. Lee slightly nodded his head in response.

He was so taken aback at the intensity of emotions that he was feeling. It was as if someone had opened a flood gate with no hope of closing it back up again. He was somewhat embarrassed that he broke down in front of the doctor, but he was more relieved that the baby seemed to be ok. Folding his arms onto the side of Amanda's bed, Lee laid his head down and let the tears come. He was feeling so many emotions at the time: relief, happiness, sadness, anger and so very much love. He had never experienced anything like the emotional roller coaster he was on at this moment. The closest he had ever come to anything close was when Amanda was shot in California. It seemed as if that even occurred yesterday and 100 years ago at the same time. He never would have thought it possible, but he was so much more in love with Amanda now than he was on their honeymoon. He was so scared of losing her in California…now, he had been petrified.

A soft knock occurred at the door. Lee quickly sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes. Dotty opened the door and entered the room.

"Lee? Lee how is she? How is the baby?" Dotty said rushing to her daughter's bed side.

"Well she has a concussion. They will be bringing her to get a CT scan any minute now to see how bad it is. She had kind of been in and out of it but they say it's normal."

"And the baby?"

Lee once again began to well up with tears. Dotty looked at Lee. Her heart sank as she saw the man that never showed his fears to be standing in front of her a virtual wreck.

"Oh, Lee…is the baby….."

Lee smiled a weak smile and took in a deep breath.

"The baby is fine, Dotty, absolutely fine."

Lee began to break down again. Dotty rushed to his side and held him. He wrapped his arms around Dotty and put his head on her shoulder and allowed himself to weep in her arms.

"Oh, Lee, dear. It's ok! Amanda is going to be just fine and the baby is fine, too! It's a miracle! Everything is going to be alright!"

She hugged him tighter and lightly rubbed his back. He was so thankful that she was there at that moment. She was the closest thing that he had to a mother and perhaps the only one that he felt comfortable letting see him in that vulnerable state.

"Sssshhhhh! Ok, sweetheart. Let it out, it's ok…..Amanda is going to be just fine, you wait and see. I have told you before, she's a fighter! And the before you know it, that baby is going to be here and you will be holding him in your arms."

Jenny looked on at the touching scene between Lee and Dotty. She so wished that she could be the one that her son was hugging and confiding in. But she was grateful that Lee had Dotty to turn to.

Dotty led Lee over to the chairs and they both had a seat. Dotty took Lee's hands in her own.

"Do you want to talk about it some more?" she said lovingly.

Lee took a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes. He took a deep breath and blew it out again.

"Ah, no, thank you. I feel better. I am sorry I lost it. I think I just needed to let that all out. I am a little overwhelmed with everything I am feeling right now. I think I just need to rest a little and maybe go grab a cup of coffee."

Lee squeezed Dotty's hand and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you" he said to her.

Dr. Gastner walked into Amanda's room accompanied by two orderlies.

"Lee? We are going to take Amanda down for her CT scan now. You can wait in here if you would like."

"OK, thank you, Dr. Oh and Dr? This is Dotty West, Amanda's mother."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. West. I am Dr. Gastner. I promise we'll take good care of your daughter."

"Thank you, Dr."

Lee and Dotty both walked over to Amanda's bed and squeezed her hands. Lee leaned down and whispered into Amanda's ear.

"I love you, Mrs. Stetson. I will be right here when you come back."

Lee stepped back and allowed the orderlies to move Amanda for her tests. He sat down on the edge of the extra empty bed in the room and began to run his hands through his hair.

"Lee, dear….I am going to go call the boys and let them know what's happening…..then I guess I should call Joe and ask him to stay with the boys."

"Can you also ask Francine to call Billy and let him know what's going on and that we won't be in for a few days."

"Absolutely. I will be back in a little while. Why don't you lie down right there and get some rest?"

Lee nodded. He had the same idea in mind. Dotty left the room and Lee swung his legs up on to the bed and put his head on the pillow. He gently rubbed his temples and closed his eyes.

Jenny came and sat next to her son. He did look so much like his father. They both had those beautiful eyes and the killer smile with those dimples….Blackthorn had taken so much from all of them. It was so unfair. She leaned down and gave her son a kiss on the head. Lee began to dream…

"_So, Lee….do you love your Christmas tree?"_

"_Oh yes, Mummy! It is the biggest Christmas tree in the whole world! Did I do a good job on the tinsel?" asked a 4-year old Lee._

_Jenny looked at the piles of tinsel on the floor and stuck to Lee's sweater…..and at the small clumps of tinsel along the bottom of the tree._

"_Oh yes, my darling! Best tinsel I have ever seen in my whole life!"_

_Lee ran into his mother's arms and hugged her. Suddenly there was a banging on the front door. It grew louder and more violent. Lee stood frozen in fear._

"_Mummy! Mummy!" he cried but she was nowhere to be found. Suddenly the door burst open. It was the monster with no face. He came into the room kicking things out of his way. He walked over to their Christmas tree and stopped. He looked at the tree and then looked at Lee. In one swift motion, the monster grabbed the star from atop the tree and smashed it onto the wooded floor._

"_No!" Lee cried. He tried to run but his feet wouldn't cooperate. Suddenly, he felt himself being scooped up in protective arms. The two swiftly walked down the hall into one of the dark rooms. Lee felt himself being flung onto the bed. When he sat up, it took him a moment to realize his surroundings. It was cold and sterile. Everything was neat and tidy, but not warm and welcoming as the living room he was just in._

"_Well, Skip? I asked you a question!" _

_Lee looked up to see his uncle, the Colonel standing over him. He was no longer 4-years old. He was now 6-year old Lee._

"_I didn't hear you, sir. What was the question?"_

"_I asked you if you liked your Christmas tree."_

_Lee turned around and saw a no more than 2-foot tree perched atop of the nightstand in the room. It had a lone strand of silver garland wrapped around its thin barren branches. Lee began to cry._

"_NO! I hate my Christmas tree! I want a great big Christmas tree and I want to put the tinsel on it!"_

_The Colonel instantly became enraged._

"_Well that's fine, son. I guess that if you hate this one so much, than you don't need to have it in your room. No Christmas tree will be better than this one."_

_With that, he grabbed the tree by the top and yanked it off the table sending the photo of Lee's parents crashing to the floor. Lee gasped in disbelief and began to cry harder._

"_It's time you grew up, Skip!" the Colonel said as he stormed out of the room, Christmas tree in tow._

_Little Lee threw himself down on the bed and began to sob. _

"_Lee? Lee why did you do that?" a familiar voice said to him. "Why did you ruin Christmas?"_

_Lee sat up to see Amanda standing in the doorway of what was now their office in the Q-Bureau. _

"_Amanda?"_

"_I asked you a question? Why did you ruin Christmas? All we wanted to do was get a Christmas tree for the house. Why couldn't you just agree to that? Why did you have to be so selfish? I don't know if I can stay with you anymore. I am taking the kids and leaving."_

_Adult Lee watched Amanda, unable to speak. She picked up the bundle wrapped in blankets that lay on top of Lee's desk. A soft cooing sound could be heard._

"_Say good-bye to your father, little baby. We can't stay with someone that hates Christmas!" Amanda said as she scooped up the child._

"_No….Amanda! Wait!" Lee grabbed her arm forcing her to drop the child. It smashed into a 100 pieces just as the start from the top of the tree had._

"_Now look what you have done!"_

_Lee looked up at Amanda with horror on his face. Her head was bleeding and running down her face. Her shoulder then began to ooze blood from beneath her white shirt._

"_Lee….this is all your fault! Look at me. I will never be the same again!"_

_Lee stood there unable to speak or move. The door to the Q-Bureau opened and in walked Billy and Francine. They were laughing, almost to the point of cackling. _

"_See, Billy! I knew that their relationship would never last! Who could stay with a man like him anyway? It's time that he grew up and stopped expecting so much from people at Christmas! No one cares about him. The Colonel was right!"_

"_Oh Francine, I should have listened to you. What was I thinking putting the two of them together? They are nothing but bad news. Well….the King woman was turning out to be a decent agent, but look at her now. Dead."_

_Lee looked at Amanda sitting in the chair behind her desk. She was slumped back with her head hanging backwards. Blood covered her shirt and face._

"_Shame, though." Billy said. "All this could have been avoided if they had just gone to get the damn Christmas tree. Oh well, Scarecrow. Guess you will be alone for Christmas again this year."_

_Francine and Billy left the office laughing. Lee stood horrified at the scene he was witnessing. _

"_Oh, Lee! Son…..you had such potential as a child. But now look at you!" _

_Lee spun around to see his father standing behind him. The eyes that he looked into were his own eyes._

"_Dad?"_

"_Where did you go wrong, son? I used to be proud to call you my son but now…dead wife, child smashed on the ground….NO CHRISTMAS TREE!"_

_Matthew shook his head slowly as he lowered his eyes to the ground. _

"_Shame…..real shame."_

"_Lee! Lee darling…..wake up! You are having a nightmare!" Jenny said trying to comfort her son._

"_Mummy?"_

_Adult Lee grabbed at his mother and tried to hug her but his hands went right through._

"_Mummy, I am sorry I was a bad boy! I am so sorry!"_

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Lee shot up in bed, his forehead covered in beads of sweat and his heart pounding. It took a moment for him to remember where he was. He immediately remembered Amanda. He glanced over to where she should be. She was not back from her testing yet. Lee lay back down and tried to calm himself. A lone tear trickled out of the corner of his eye and down his cheek.

"Oh, Amanda! I am so sorry!"

To be continued….


	5. Chapter 5

Dotty left Amanda's room and went to the waiting room where she was greeted by Francine, Sam and Harry. They all watched her in silence walk down the hall towards them. When Dotty reached the waiting room, she gave a small yet anxious smile to the crowd and let out a heavy exhale.

"The baby is ok."

The trio breathed a sigh of relief.

"What about Amanda? How is she?" Francine immediately asked.

"I don't know anything more than we knew a little while ago. She was still asleep when I went in there and they just took her for her CT scan. Her doctor seemed very nice."

Harry walked over to Dotty and put his arm around her.

"How is Lee holding up, Dotty? If I know that boy, he is probably pretending that none of this is bothering him." Harry asked.

"He's not holding up as well as you might think, Harry. But I think he is going to be ok. Oh, Francine? Lee asked if you could give Billy a call and let him know what was happening and that he and Amanda won't be in for a few days."

"Sure, no problem."

"And then after that, dear, why don't you and Sam head home. There is nothing you can do here. We will be sure to call once we hear the results from the CT Scan. I know Amanda is not going home tonight, that's for sure. And I am sure that Lee won't be going anywhere either. Which reminds me that I need to go call Joe and see if he can stay with the boys."

"Dotty, if Joe can't come stay with them just let us know and we can go stay with them. In fact, why don't we head over there now keep them company till Joe gets there." Sam said. "Ok with you Francine?"

"Oh yes, of course. That is a great idea. Come on, Sam. Let's go. I can call Billy from the car. Harry, make sure she calls us as soon as you hear something!"

Dotty bid Francine and Sam good-bye. After they left, she wrapped herself up in Harry's arms and held him tight. He kissed her on the cheek and sweetly whispered that everything was going to be ok. Dotty tried to subtly wipe the tears from her eyes and cheeks, but Harry knew better. He reached into his pocket and handed her a handkerchief.

"Thank you" she said as she smiled through her tears. "Oh, Harry! You all are always putting yourself in harm's way and the two times that Amanda has been seriously injured…it has had NOTHING to do with the agency! It just goes to show that you never can tell anything about what life hands you."

Harry pulled her back into his arms and held her tight.

"No, Dotty my dear, you never can tell. How is Lee really doing?"

"He is really shaken up. I have never seen him like this. He is usually so strong and never lets any fear show. This has really thrown him for a loop."

"Why don't you go give Joe a call and I am going to go have a talk with Lee, let him know I am here for him if he needs it. Ok?"

"That sounds great. I will meet you in Amanda's room."

Dotty headed off to the lounge area where they had phones available for visitor use. Harry calmly walked to Amanda's room to have a heart to heart with Lee.

Lee got up from the bed and immediately went into the bathroom to splash some water on his face. The stress of the situation was written all over his face in the tear marks on his cheeks, the furrowed brow and the sweat beads on his forehead. He ran his hands under the stream coming from the faucet, and splashed his face with the soothing liquid. He grabbed a scratchy paper towel and began to dab the water from his face. In the mirror, he could see that the door to Amanda's room had opened. He quickly did an about face and reentered the room in the anticipation of greeting his wife after her tests. Instead, he found Harry waiting for him in the center of the room.

"How are you holding up there, Lee?"

"Oh, you know. I'll be ok. I will be better when I hear what the doctor says about Amanda's condition and when she can get out of here."

"Well don't be in such a hurry to check her out of the hospital. She is in the best care here, especially since the NEST team is looking after her."

"I know…I just hate hospitals." Lee put his hands in his pants pockets and began to pace.

"I know you do, my boy. I remember….. Dotty said that the baby is fine."

Lee stopped pacing and looked at Harry.

"Yes. Thankfully the baby looks to be fine right now." Lee looked at the floor for a moment and smiled as he looked back up at Harry. "I got to see the baby, you know."

"You saw the baby?"

"Yes with an ultrasound machine. I could see the image of the baby and its little heartbeat fluttering away. It was amazing. It was my child…MY child." Lee felt the tears wanting to come again, but he managed to swallow hard and keep them at bay. This gesture was not lost on Harry. "I never thought that I wanted children and now there is nothing in this world that I want more than to see my son or daughter born."

Harry walked over to Lee and gently patted him on the back smiling as big as he could.

"And what an amazing father you will make, Lee. Heck, you already are a wonderful father to Philip and Jamie. And they just adore you. I am so happy to see you having these things in your life, Lee. I was afraid I would never see the day that this would happen. And you know that I think of you like my own son."

Lee looked through Harry for a moment and remembered his nightmare that he had just had.

"What is it, Lee?"

"Harry…."

Harry could tell that Lee had something difficult to say, but had no idea what it was.

"Go on son, what is it?"

"Harry, do you think….do you think that if my parents were alive today that I would make them proud?"

Harry looked at Lee dumbfounded.

"Lee? What kind of question is that? Would you make them proud?"

"Yes, Harry…..in your opinion would my parents be proud of me if they were alive today?"

"Lee…..son, of course they would be proud of you. I am so damned proud of you and I am not even your dad. You are an outstanding man that has served his country way above and beyond the call of duty. You have a loving relationship with your wife and have already proven in a short time what a great father you are to your two stepsons. How could they not be proud of you? Where is this coming from?"

Lee remained silent for another moment. He wasn't sure how much he wanted to talk about this but since he was the one that brought it up, he figured it only fair that he continue with the conversation.

"I've been thinking a lot about my parents today, even before Amanda got into the car accident. I have been thinking about how much I loved them and was remembering some great times I had as a child…..I miss them so much. You would think that after all this time it would be easier but…sometimes it is a lot harder. I think about them every Christmas, especially…I just go thinking about what they would think of me and would I make them proud."

Harry looked at Lee with a warm and caring eye. He put his arm around the troubled man, who at that moment looked much more like a troubled boy.

"Lee, it is one of the biggest sins that your parents were not able to spend their lives watching their son grow. But let me tell you this…there is no way that if they were alive today that they would be anything BUT proud. So you put those thoughts right out of your head. They were good people, and I can say for a fact that you were their pride and joy! I witnessed it first hand, myself."

Lee looked at Harry in shock.

"You knew my parents?"

The door to the room opened revealing a semiconscious Amanda being wheeled back from her tests.

"Amanda? You're awake!"

Lee rushed to her side as she was wheeled back into place. Harry thought that this would be a good time to leave Lee alone and go let Dotty know that Amanda was awake. The doctor walked over to Lee and began to tell him the results of the CT scan.

"Well, she has a concussion and a pretty good one, too! But thankfully, that is all she has. The skull is not broken. No bleeding on the brain. It was lucky she was wearing her seatbelt. This could have been a lot worse."

"So, she's going to be ok?"

"I don't see why not! But, we need to keep her here for at least two days to monitor the concussion and possible side effects. And Dr. Kesselman wants her on bed rest so she can check on her a few times a day to make sure everything is ok with the pregnancy."

Lee smiled a real smile for the first time today.

"Did she wake up at all?"

"She did. She knows who she is and seemed to understand that she was in a car accident. She was asking for you and someone named Jenny. I assume you know who that is."

"I have no idea who Jenny is. Maybe someone she was talking to at work before her accident?"

"Don't know but she seemed pretty adamant about talking to her. But things like that after a head injury are not all that uncommon. I expect we will see a very different Amanda 12-hours from now once her body has had some more time to recover."

"OK…good. I am going to sit with her for a while, if that's ok."

"Yes, but let her get her rest. And don't push her too much with too many questions. We will start the memory tests and other things like that tomorrow morning. Make sure you go home and get a good night's sleep."

Lee just nodded. He took a seat on the stool beside Amanda's bed and clasped her small hand into both of his. He watched her sleeping peacefully as he said a silent prayer of thanks for Amanda's prognosis and the health of the baby. She was already looking better than she had a few hours ago. He gently kissed her fingertips as he held her hand to his face. She stirred ever so slightly.

"Amanda?" he whispered in a hushed tone.

"Lee? Is that you?" Amanda's voice never sounded so sweet to Lee's ears.

"Yes, it's me. I am right here with you." He said as he grasped her hand tighter and pulled himself closer to her.

"I hurt my head. I was in a car accident."

Lee let out a soft chuckle.

"Yes, you were. I was the one that found you. But you are ok and the baby is ok."

Amanda opened her eyes and tried to turn to look at Lee. She winced as her neck reminded her of the accident.

"Don't try to move. I'll come closer to you." Lee sat on the edge of the bed facing Amanda. He smiled a sweet smile at his wife, one that was full of relief, gratefulness and love. "I know we talked about getting a new car, Mrs. Stetson, but don't you think this way was a bit extreme?" Lee smiled wider at her and kissed her hand.

"Oh, Lee! Don't make me laugh! It hurts my head! I don't really remember what happened. I was coming back from dropping off the files. Next thing I know I am waking up in the car, it was dark out and I was freezing cold."

"Don't worry about that now. You are safe and you need your rest."

"But Philip and Jamie…"

"Are absolutely fine. They're at home. Your mother was going to call Joe to come stay with them. Don't worry about that. Why don't you just close your eyes and get some rest, ok? They will be here in the morning to see you."

"OK" Amanda replied softly as she let her eyes shut. Lee sat there watching Amanda drift off to sleep as he lovingly ran his thumb over the back of her hand. So many thoughts flooded his mind. He was finally starting to let some of his tension go and be comforted in the fact that Amanda was safe in the hospital and had had a conversation with him. Lee carefully stood from Amanda's bed so to not awaken her. He headed out to the waiting area to talk to Dotty and tell her to head home. He also wanted some answers from Harry regarding knowing his parents.

Lee rubbed his eyes as he stepped out into the bright hallway. Amanda's room was more dimly lit. He walked to the waiting area where he found Dotty and Harry. Dotty looked a bit frantic.

"How is she, Lee?"

"She woke up for a few minutes and we talked a bit. She doesn't remember getting into the accident but she is ok. She asked about Philip and Jamie and I told her that Joe was going to be watching them."

"Actually Joe is out of town, so Sam and Francine are over there right now. They said they would stay as long as necessary."

Lee thought of Francine with two teenaged boys. Philip was probably bombarding her with all kinds of sports questions and trying to make himself seem older and more mature to the attractive blonde. Jamie was probably being withdrawn and worrying about his mother. Lee decided he would call home in a few minutes and talk to Philip and Jamie individually to reassure them that their mother was going to be ok.

"Well, I was planning on staying here tonight, but I guess I will head home in a few hours to stay with the boys."

"Nonsense, Lee. You will do nothing of the kind. I want to go see that Amanda is ok for myself, then I will have Harry drop me home. You stay here with your wife."

"Thank you, Dotty. I appreciate that. Just do me a favor? When you go in to see Amanda, don't wake her up. The doctor asked me to let her sleep and don't ask her a lot of questions."

"Ok, Lee, dear. I just want to see with my own eyes that she is alright."

Lee smiled and gave Dotty a kiss on the cheek.

"Why don't you two have a seat and I will be back in a few minutes." Dotty said as she walked down the hall.

Lee and Harry took two seats in the empty waiting room. Lee put his elbows on his knees and began to run his hands through his hair. He let out a long exhale. Leaning back in the chair, he stretched and tried to get comfortable.

"How you holding up, son?"

"I'm doing better, Harry. Doctor thinks that she is going to be fine. She is just going to need a lot of rest."

"Good! I am glad to hear it. We were all so worried."

"Yeah." Lee sat pensively for a few moments and then looked at Harry. "So, why didn't you ever tell me that you knew my parents?"

To be continued….


	6. Chapter 6

Lee looked at Harry in anticipation of his answering Lee's question: why didn't Harry ever tell Lee that he knew his parents?

Harry looked at the floor and let out a sigh before beginning to speak.

"Well, I am not sure how to answer that question, son. It was never my intent to deceive you in any way. And let me make sure you understand that I knew your parents, but not well. Hell, I didn't even know your mother was in the family business until I was doing a background check on you when you were being recruited."

Lee leaned forward to make sure that he caught every word that Harry was saying.

"Matt and I worked together a few times. Not on anything big. I met you and Jenny when you were about 3. You were cuter than the dickens back then!"

"Jenny? I thought my mother went by Jennifer. The Colonel always referred to her as Jennifer."

"Well, that doesn't surprise me. She could be very formal and only those that she really liked did she ask them to call her Jenny. And of course, your dad was Matt to all of us, but not to Jenny. She loved the name Matthew and refused to call him anything but!"

Lee felt a warm feeling deep in his soul hearing stories of his parents. He knew so little about them.

"Go on" Lee pleaded.

"Well, like I said, they were wonderful people, real salt of the earth. Your father was one of the best in the business, second to only one. That would be me of course! He was kind and generous and had a hell of a sense of humor. And your mother…..well she was one of the prettiest things I have ever laid my eyes on. She was sweet and gentle but had a tough side to her, too. From what I have read about her, she was a hell of an agent. Started out as a civilian. Did you know that? Much like someone else I know."

Harry smiled at Lee as his blue eyes twinkled. Lee grinned in return.

"Actually, I did know that. I found that out a few years ago. It actually is amazing how similar the stories of how she and my father met and how Amanda and I met are."

"Well, sounds like you know more about that aspect than I do. But as I told you earlier, you were everything to your parents. Your dad was forever telling us stories of how brilliant his son was, and how adorable his son was and most importantly how much he loved his son. And your mom was no different."

Lee sat quietly and listened to all Harry had to say. He swallowed hard to hide the emotion that was building within him.

"You look a lot like your dad, too. But every once in a while I catch a glimpse of your mother." Harry also remained quiet for a moment as he tried to recall as much detail as he could for Lee's sake. "When I was recruiting agents back in '73, your name came across my desk. I immediately wondered if you were Matt Stetson's son that I had met all those years ago. When I saw that it was in fact you, I knew that I had to have you working for the agency. I figured that if you were at least half of the agent your dad was, you would be a good fit for the agency. To my very pleasant surprise, you surpassed every expectation that I had for you and I dare say that you are the best agent that we have ever had, myself included in that."

"You don't have to say that, Harry."

"You're right. I don't. I am saying it because it is true and I want you to know that there is no doubt in my mind what so ever that if your parents were alive today, that they would still be bursting at the seams over their son, AND their daughter-in-law. Aww, they would have loved Amanda. She reminds me of your mom in some ways."

"Really? In what ways?"

"Her gentle way about her, the way that she really listens when you talk to her and that spot on instinct of hers. Not to mention that she is just as drop-dead beautiful as your mother was. Don't tell Dotty, but I have a bit of a thing for brunettes."

Harry winked at Lee as he said this. Lee laughed.

"I guess I do, too!"

"What's so funny, you two?" Dotty asked as she made her way back to the waiting room.

"Oh, just some man talk, honey. How is Amanda?" Harry asked.

"She looks beautiful. She was sleeping so I didn't wake her. I just needed to see for myself that she was ok. The nurse came and put in an IV while I was in there so don't be shocked by that, Lee."

"What is it for?" Lee asked with concern in his voice.

"I asked the same thing. It is to help keep her hydrated, which makes sense since she's not eating or drinking right now."

Lee nodded.

"Well, I think that we should head out so you can drop me off at home, Harry. Lee, are you going to be ok here? Do you need anything?"

"I'll be fine. You go one home. I might come home later or I might stay the whole night. I will see how peacefully she sleeps over the next few hours."

"Ok, dear. Try to get some sleep yourself. Call me if anything changes with Amanda's condition."

"I will, Dotty."

Lee leaned over and gave Dotty a kiss on the cheek and bid the couple good-bye. He checked his watch and decided that if he was going to call Philip and Jamie it should be now.

"Amanda, dear? I am sorry to disturb your sleep, but I don't know how much longer you will be able to hear me."

"Jenny? Is that you?" Amanda struggled to open her eyes.

"Yes, it's me. Please don't wake yourself up. I just wanted to tell you that Matthew and I are always watching you and Lee. We are so happy that Lee has finally found love. We so wish that we would be there to hold our grandchild, but we will be able to watch it grow."

"I wish you were here, too. Lee misses you so much." She muttered in her sleep.

"I know. We miss him so much, too."

"He is so excited for the baby."

"He is going to be a great father, just like his dad. He is already doing such wonderful things with your boys."

"You know Philip and Jamie?"

"Oh, yes! I told you, we are always watching and trying to be as much a part of his life as we can. They are great boys. They're going to do great things, too you know."

Amanda smiled in her sleep.

"Thank you-I think they are pretty special but I am a little impartial."

Lee walked into Amanda's dimly lit room and sat beside her bed. She was smiling in her sleep. He gently kissed the back of her hand and lightly brushed the hair way from her cheeks.

"I love you, Mrs. Stetson." He said softly into her ear.

"I think that is so cute how you two call each other Mr. and Mrs. Stetson. Matthew and I used to do that all the time, too. I wonder if Lee remembers that from when he was a small boy."

"He doesn't talk about his childhood a lot." Amanda mumbled.

"Amanda?" Lee asked in a barely audible tone.

"Well, he had a lot of pain in those days. I so wish I could have been there. Look at him now." Jenny took a moment to study her son as he sat beside his wife's sick bed. "He is such an upstanding man, just like his father. We are so very proud of him. Will you tell him that, Amanda?"

"Yes, Jenny. I will tell Lee that you are proud of him."

Lee's ears perked up. He wondered what she was talking about and who she was talking to.

"And tell him that Matthew is proud of him, too."

Amanda slightly nodded.

"Could you say that out loud right now, Amanda? Say 'your mother and father are very proud of you, Lee'"

"Your mother and father are very proud of you, Lee" Amanda recited.

Lee looked at Amanda in shock.

"What did you just say?" he questioned her.

"And tell him that we love him very much." Jenny told Amanda.

"And they love you very much." Amanda repeated.

Lee grasped Amanda's and tighter and moved closer to her head.

"Amanda? Who are you talking to?" He asked in a heightened tone.

"Jenny." She said as a matter of fact.

"Jenny who?"

Amanda was silent for a moment.

"Jenny who, Amanda?" Lee said with more urgency.

"It's ok Amanda, you can tell him." Jenny encouraged.

"Jenny, your mother, of course." Amanda replied, still in her twilight state.

"Amanda, you are starting to wake up and won't be able to hear me. I am glad we had this time together. Try and remember our conversations. I have arranged for something special to arrive at your house in a few days. It took a lot of convincing to get it there! You will understand when you see it. Make sure that you tell Lee it's from me. I am not sure he will believe you, but try anyway. I will always be around even if we can't have these chats any more. Take care of my son and my grandchild. Kiss them both for me. I love you, Amanda."

"Love you, too, Jenny."

Lee remained silent to see what else Amanda had to say in her current condition but she didn't say anything else. He felt her hand go limp and her breathing slow down. She had fallen into a deeper sleep. He didn't want to wake her so he just watched her sleep and wondered if what he heard could actually be possible. He replayed in his mind the things that Amanda had just said.

"Could she have actually been talking to my mother? No, that is ridiculous….but I didn't know until today that she was called Jenny. Amanda didn't know at all. And how could she have known that I was wondering if my parents were proud of me? Seems odd that that would be what Amanda chose to mumble in her sleep."

Lee moved over to the empty bed in Amanda's room and thought he would lie down for a bit. His body was exhausted but his mind was racing a million miles a minute. Harry knew his parents and witnessed firsthand that his parents loved him and even thought he was the best thing in the world. His parents were good people. His mother only let those close to her call her Jenny and to his mother, his father was always Matthew. This made Lee happy to know some of the more intimate details of his parents' lives. It also made him happy to hear that Amanda was a lot like his mother. He found comfort in the fact that his mother was indeed the kind, gentle, strong woman that he remembered her to be, just like Amanda.

Without realizing it, Lee drifted off to sleep and was awoken by Dr. Kesselman coming into Amanda's room. A nurse followed her wheeling the ultrasound machine. Lee quickly sat up.

"Dr. Kesselman? Is there anything wrong?"

"Sorry, Lee. We didn't mean to wake you. I am just checking on the progress of the placenta. Hopefully everything will be just great. It's been about 12 hours since the accident, so I want to make sure that nothing new has developed now that the body is less traumatized and some of the swelling is going down."

Lee stood up and took his place at Amanda's bedside. Amanda stirred slightly as the doctor exposed the skin of her abdomen and squirted some of the cold gel onto her stomach. Moving the probe over her stomach, the doctor quickly found baby Stetson. Lee immediately recognized the flutter of the heartbeat on the screen.

"And there she is!" the doctor declared.

"She?" Lee asked.

"Well, could be a he or a she. Can't be sure! But regardless, the baby is still doing great. Heartbeat is still as strong as it was before. The placenta still looks good. I am just going to do a few more measurements and look around a bit, so don't be alarmed."

Lee went into the bathroom to freshen up. He checked his watch and saw that it was already 5:30am. He felt like he had just closed his eyes. He splashed some water on his face to help him wake up. He looked 10 years older since this time yesterday morning. He scratched his stubbly face and went back into Amanda's room. He was pleasantly surprised to see her awake and talking to Dr. Kesselman.

"Good morning, sweetheart." She said weakly from her bed.

Lee rushed over to her side.

"Good morning! How are you feeling?"

Amanda smiled slightly.

"My head really hurts and my shoulder and neck hurt a little too."

Lee looked at the shoulder that she indicated was bothering her and found a large rectangular bruise that was from her seatbelt.

"You have a pretty good bruise there, Amanda. Looks like it is from the seatbelt. But the good news is that the baby is ok and you are going to be ok, too."

"Yes, Amanda. The baby looks great. I will be back later this afternoon to have another look. Your other doctor will be in soon, too I imagine. Try to get some more rest, ok?"

Dr. Kesselman and the nurse left the two of them alone. Amanda looked at her husband's face. It was obvious that he had been through a lot.

"You going for the mountain man look, Stetson?"

Lee rubbed the stubble on his face and laughed.

"Yeah, you like it?"

"Not much! Your face is too handsome to hide it with all that stubble!"

"I've been a little busy…..I'm so glad you are ok." Lee gave Amanda a soft kiss on the lips. "You scared the life out of me."

"I'm sorry. I tried to avoid those deer in the road, and that is the last thing I remember."

"Deer? You almost hit some deer?"

"Yes. They were there at that bad curve in the road."

"That's funny because I almost hit a deer last night, too. In that exact spot. In fact, if it wasn't for that deer, I wouldn't have found you. I had to pull off the road and heard you honking the horn."

"I was honking the horn? I don't remember that at all."

"Do you remember anything else from last night? Do you remember someone named Jenny?"

"Jenny?"

The door to Amanda's room opened. It was Dr. Gastner.

"Well! You are looking a lot better since last night! Dr. Kesselman told me that you were talking and awake."

Amanda looked at the doctor a bit confused.

"Amanda, do you remember Dr. Gastner? She is part of the NEST team. She was my doctor when I had my concussion back with the Barnstorm incident. She worked on you last night."

"Sorry Amanda, I should have reintroduced myself."

"It's ok, you looked vaguely familiar, but I don't know if that was from last night or from when I met you before. I don't really remember much about last night at all."

"I didn't expect you would. You have a pretty bad concussion. Your head is going to hurt for at least a few days. It is going to be important that you get lots and lots of rest. Lee, I am going to give her an exam now and take her down for another CT scan. Why don't you head home and rest for a while?"

"Well, I would rather stay…"

"Lee, I think that is a good idea. Go home, rest and check on the boys."

"Ok, I will come back in a few hours."

Lee gave Amanda a kiss and whispered "I love you" into her ear.

As Lee walked down the hall, he felt a sense of relief that Amanda was doing better but still anxious. He got into his car and headed to Maplewood Dr.

To be continued…..


	7. Chapter 7

As Lee sat at the stoplight, he tried to make heads or tails of what the last 24-hours had just brought. Emotionally, he was exhausted and had been through the ringer. He was looking forward to a hot shower, a huge cup of coffee and then heading back to the hospital to see Amanda. Thankfully, it was Saturday so he didn't need to worry about getting the boys off to school. The sun was just beginning to light up the sky. The streets were all but abandoned at this early hour on a Saturday. The light turned green and Lee moved forward, continuing his journey home. Suddenly, he thought better of his destination and made a U-turn. There was something he had to do before heading home.

Zooming down the empty roads, Lee made some twists and turns until he finally arrived at his destination. Slowly, he got out of his car and walked across the frosty grass stopping only when he reached his parents' graves. He stood there for quite a while reading their headstones over and over again, wishing against all odds that there was some mistake and they were not really dead, and that at any moment they would be there to embrace him and tell him that the nightmare was over.

"You know…..I don't come here that often, at least not as often as I should…..I guess that it is too painful and I am sorry for that. It is not because I don't want to pay my respects to you both or that I don't think about you. In fact, I think about you all the time. I can't even tell you how much I wish you were here. My life is pretty great right now. I married Amanda, which you know…and we are expecting a baby. Growing up without you two, I think I convinced myself that I didn't want children-I thought of children as a bother and a burden. But now that we are expecting one of our own…..I honestly can't think of anything I want more in this world. I have two great step-sons, too: Philip and Jamie. They really are great young men. I love them like they were my own."

Lee took a moment to collect his thoughts before he continued.

"Amanda was hurt yesterday-she was in a car accident. She's going to be ok, but it scared the life out of me. I don't know what I would do without her. Thankfully, I found her and got her to the hospital in time…funny thing is Mum, that I feel like you were the one that helped me find her. If that deer hadn't have been in the road when I came around the corner, I never would have stopped. And it didn't run away at first, it just stood there looking at me and then ran down the hill to Amanda. It was bizarre. When I found Amanda, she was mumbling to someone and then later in her CT scan, they told me that she was looking for someone named Jenny and then last night…she was saying some things that have me really wondering if you were talking to her in some way."

Lee looked at his mother's headstone as if it would answer him back. He swallowed hard to try and keep the tears from forming.

"I had a chat with Harry Thornton last night. I never knew that you had been friends. He told me a little about you two…..it made me feel closer to you both. I found out that you, Mum, were known as Jenny to close friends and that you only ever called dad Matthew."

Lee smiled a small, crooked smile.

"I sure wish that we had had more time together….And I hope that…..well, I hope that I make you proud…I am not sure why I felt so compelled to come out here this morning. I guess I just needed to feel closer to you given the emotional rollercoaster I have been on in the last 24-hours…..and to just let you both know that I love you."

Lee stood in silence gathering his thoughts, missing his parents. As he bid them good-bye, he looked up and found that he was not alone. A lone deer stood watching him. As their eyes met, the deer gently bowed her head at Lee and trotted away.

"Thank you" Lee whispered as he made his way back to the corvette.

**2 Days Later**

Philip, Jamie and Dotty waited anxiously for the car to pull in the driveway. They were excited that Amanda was coming home. Finally, they heard the car door shut as Lee made his way over to help Amanda out of the passenger seat.

"I am so glad to be home." Amanda said as she walked in through the back door of her cheery kitchen.

"Mom!" Jamie shouted as he and Philip ran to hug their mother.

"Easy! Easy boys! She is recovering from a concussion! You don't want to give her another one." Dotty said as she pushed her way into the crowd to hug her daughter. "Oh, Amanda, come sit down and I will make you a cup of cocoa."

Lee walked in the door carrying Amanda's bag and a new key chain.

"They just dropped off the loaner car while I was outside. They said we can have it until we can get our car situation straightened out."

"Oh good!" Amanda said.

"Hey, boys. Why don't you go check out the new wheels?" Lee encouraged.

"Cool!" Philip said as he dashed out the back door with Jamie close behind.

"From Leatherneck?" Amanda asked.

"Yup and he said don't worry about getting it back any time soon."

"Amanda, dear? Why don't you lie down on the couch and take a rest?" Dotty said as she brought Amanda her cocoa.

"That's a great idea, Amanda", Lee interjected before Amanda could object. "And while you rest, I am going to take the boys on a top secret mission. Dotty, do you mind looking out for Amanda while we are gone. It should only take an hour or so."

"Not at all, Lee. Take your time."

Lee leaned down and kissed Amanda gently but full of passion. His eyes danced with happiness as he looked at Amanda, safe in their home.

"Love you" she said.

"Love you, too" he replied. "Come on, boys! Let's take 'er for a spin!" Lee shouted as he walked out the door.

"Thanks for the cocoa, Mother. It really is so good to be home!" she said sipping out of her mug.

"It is so good to HAVE you home. You scared us half to death. And Lee….oh Amanda I have never seen him like that ever. He was so….so lost and scared. He really loves you. He was beside himself until he heard that you and the baby were going to be ok."

"I am sorry I scared you all."

"Oh, it wasn't your fault, darling! We are just all so glad that you are ok. Why don't you lie down here and rest. The doctors said that you need a lot of rest for the next week."

"OK, Mother. I think I will."

Amanda closed her eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks that she was back among her family in her own house. She drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

"Careful, jerk face! You're going to make me drop it!" Philip shouted at his brother.

"It's not my fault!" Jamie snapped back.

"Boys! Enough! Let's just get this thing in the house." Lee commanded as he opened the front door. "Ok, bring it right into the living room. The stand is over there in the corner."

Amanda opened her eyes at the sound of Lee's voice coming from the other room. Slowly she got up off the couch to investigate what was going on. As she pulled open the doors that separate the living room from the family room, she heard the men yell "SURPRISE!"

Amanda gasped in excitement! "Oh! A tree! You went out and got a Christmas Tree!"

"Yeah, Mom! We actually got to cut this one! Lee let me use the saw and everything!" Philip exclaimed.

Amanda looked at Lee and smiled.

"It was cool, except now I am covered in pine sap." Jamie said trying to rub the sap from his hands onto his pants.

"Oh fellas, this is such a great coming home present!"

"Mom? Can we decorate it tonight?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah and have cocoa and Christmas cookies?" Philip added.

"I think we can absolutely decorate it tonight, but you guys are going to have to get the decorations out of the garage. Cocoa, I think we can handle, but I don't think I am up for making Christmas cookies today. Sorry, Philip."

"Uh, I already thought of that" Lee said. "I asked Dotty if she would mind making some last night."

"Alright!" the boys exclaimed in unison.

"Let's go get the boxes!" Philip said as the two ran to the garage.

Lee wrapped his arms around Amanda's waist and pulled her into a loving embrace.

"Thank you, Lee. You don't know how special this is to me. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"It was a lot easier than you would think. Besides, me and the boys had a great time picking the right tree."

"Thanks for thinking about the Christmas cookies…..it's kind of a tradition here between me and the boys."

"I have a new tradition for you and me."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Well, I know that one of the things you love about Christmas is taking out the ornaments and reminiscing about the stories each one tells. So, I thought that we could start our own tradition of giving each other an ornament each year. What do ya think?"

Amanda looked up at Lee and smiled.

"I love it."

"Good…..wait right here."

Amanda sat on the couch and breathed in the scent of the freshly cut pine tree. The house was beginning to smell like Christmas. Lee returned with a small package wrapped in red and green foil paper. He handed it to Amanda and smiled. Amanda took the box and carefully tore off the paper. Inside, she found a smaller box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. As she inspected the box, she saw that it was a tiny package and on it was written an addressee: To the Man in the Red Hat, October 1983. Amanda cradled the ornament in her hands and smiled a smile that lit up her entire face.

"It's just something that I made a couple of days ago…..I thought it would be a nice memento. I hope you like it." Lee said almost nervously.

"I love it…..you couldn't have given me anything more perfect."

Amanda leaned over and kissed Lee. His small gesture had warmed her heart in ways she had not expected.

"Hey MOM!" Philip bellowed.

"Philip! I'm right here! You don't have to scream! What is it?"

"The mailman just dropped off a package for you. I am leaving it on the counter."

"I'll get it. You stay here."

Lee returned with the box and handed it to Amanda.

"So many surprises today! I wonder what this is? I don't recognize the return address." Amanda opened the box and found a letter on top of a sealed padded envelope. "Oh! It's from the Colonel!"

"My uncle, the Colonel?"

"Yup. 'Dear Amanda….Please find the enclosed as a surprise for Skip. I have had this for years and haven't really given it any thought. Then, starting last week, I kept having dreams saying that I was supposed to send it to you. I know it sounds crazy, but something in me said don't ignore the dreams. Hope everyone is well. Say hi to Skip for me.' Huh…..well I guess this is for you. Open it."

Amanda handed Lee the padded envelope. Lee took it in his hands, wondering what it could be. Carefully he pulled open the flap to reveal a small wooden sheriff's badge. The yellow paint had chipped off the edges of the star, but the word "SHERIFF" was still clearly visible. A loop of rawhide was threaded through the single hole in the uppermost point of the star. Lee held the prize in his right hand as he carefully traced the edges with the index finger of his left hand.

"Amanda…this is my…."

Amanda saw tears begin to form in Lee's eyes as the emotion began to well within him. She, too was brought to tears over this discovery.

"It's the Sheriff's Badge ornament your father gave you for Christmas when you were 4!"

Lee looked at Amanda in shock.

"How did you know that?"

Amanda thought for a moment. She wasn't sure how she knew that. There was something nagging at her about this transaction. In the back of her mind she heard a voice talking to her: "I have arranged for something special to arrive at your house in a few days. It took a lot of convincing to get it there! You will understand when you see it. Make sure that you tell Lee it's from me. I am not sure he will believe you, but try anyway."

Amanda looked at Lee just as confused as he was.

"I'm not sure how I know but I think….Lee, I think your mother told me when I was in the car. Is that possible? And I am supposed to tell you that the ornament is from her. She didn't think you would believe me but I am supposed to tell you that anyway."

Amanda could hardly believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. She knew how ridiculous they sounded, but they felt as true and as real to her as if Lee's mother was standing before them now. She looked at Lee with a bewildered look on her face. He knew what she was saying was true. He didn't need convincing. He squeezed the badge tight in his hand and wrapped his arms around Amanda. Neither said a word.

The lights on the decorated tree twinkled and emitted a soft light into the living room. Lee sat on the couch looking at his sheriff's badge hanging on his first real Christmas tree in over 30 years. Amanda lay sleeping next to him with her head in his lap and her hands resting on her pregnant belly. He lightly stroked her hair as they sat in the quiet of the evening. Lee began to feel contentment and happiness. He wondered if this was the beginnings of the Christmas Spirit that everyone is always talking about. Lee leaned his head back and shut his eyes.

Jenny sighed as she felt her son's contentment. It was a melancholy moment for her. She wanted so badly to be a part of his life and not merely an observer, but she understood that this was not meant to be. Her eyes smiled as she saw Lee's sheriff badge dangle from the Christmas tree's branch. After all these years, she knew her son was finally going to have a happy Christmas again. As Lee drifted off to sleep, she placed a single kiss upon his forehead and whispered, "Merry Christmas, my darling and many, many more."

The End


End file.
